Monday, May 21, 2018

Wrapping Up Seventh Grade x3 (whew!)

For almost a decade my husband and I had a plan to pull our trio off the track they were on in 7th grade and homeschool them for the year. We truly love our school, so we were not leaving because of problems or issues. The thought process was that we would have more time for travel on our own schedule and that we could have an intensive year of pouring into Kate, Ryland & Parker before they crossed the threshold into the rapid independence of adolescence.

Last Spring, as time came closer to pull the trigger, multiple factors made it clear they should stay put. I was disappointed and relieved. Glad to remain part of a strong team of caring educators and anxious to see what the year would hold. As I type this afternoon, only 2.5 days remain until 7th grade is in our rearview mirror. This led me to consider why God had us stay.

Middle school is legendary for all the awkwardness and mean things that happen. The most cringe-worthy moments of my life happened between 1986 and 1988 as I traversed my own middle school chapter. My two "best" friends stole my journal and read it aloud to the boys I had secret crushes on, my training bra was accidentally exposed to my whole class during a PE exercise and I became known as "blue bow," and I had an unfortunate moment of flatulence combined with a sneeze in an otherwise silent math class that became known as "Achoo Boom."
 
Thankfully, my offspring seem to have avoided such juvenile fiction and motion picture worthy embarrassments, but this season has still been full of its own memorable lessons.

Dealing with middle school simultaneously experienced by three distinct individuals has been mostly OK, but I have earned some parenting stripes. To protect the stories that are not fully mine to tell, I will speak in broad terms:
An adolescent with ADHD, Anxiety & Sensory Processing plus hormone surges is its own kind of roller coaster, but my kid has made tremendous strides and knows there is a TEAM of caring adults backing him/her.
There have been successes marked by certificates and public fanfare as well as private feelings of failure from not making a cut.
We've experienced unreciprocated first crushes both as the crusher and the crushee and been involved in a love triangle where child A's best friend had a crush on child B's best friend, who had a crush on child C. Whew.
There have been multiple long conversations about truthtelling, sneakiness, temptation and living in the light.
Great experiences have been gained in performing before an audience, receiving feedback and sharing credit.
We've learned lessons about gossip, friendship, bullying, and forgiveness.
They have grown a combined 13 inches in height and a multitude in maturity and responsibility.
What felt like giving up on adventure, was actually just an entry point into the adventure of real life in the weeds of middle school. :-)

And I am truly happy to be a Mom right smack in the thick of it. Because THIS STUFF, this really is it. Parenting them in the world with all its heartache, frustrations, temptations, beauty, and discovery--this is the training ground, the rich fertile soil in which God grows men and women.

I am so grateful for a chapter that reminds me that even (especially?) when it doesn't look like we planned, the process is what God is using to sanctify us all!

3 comments:

Missy June said...

I have enjoyed reading, and especially love these age-progression posts. I have a son born the same month as your trio. It's just nice to see that another mama is in the same season. Thank you for opening your heart.

Kelly S said...

I love this. Our twins are 19 and we are still hanging in there, passionately trying to raise godly kids who aren't sucked down by the world and all the lies. It's all so worth it, and we enjoy our teens so much (and all of their friends who hang out here a lot). It's a journey, but wow, raising kids is a marathon not a sprint.

Enjoy. And what a great job you have done.

Unknown said...

I really enjoy reading your truth and lesson filled posts. God certainly does have a way of changing up plans abs uses then to teach us and mold us each in parenthood and as children of God. I’ve had so many moments in the last few years where I’ve found God teaching me how to parent with grace, when I’m parenting my children. So many times God has said to me, if I disciplined my children the way I planned or responded to a situation how I’d feel if God did the same to me. It really pulls me up short and I rely more abs more in His wisdom and truth on how to parent and live as a parent of two adult children and one preteen. I’ve made mistakes with my older two I don’t wish to repeat with my youngest which shows I parent him differently now to the way I did my other two. They’ve noticed the difference and I try to explain I want to parent the way God parents me now instead of a legal way of parenting. Too, each child is different and so responds differently to different kinds of parenting. Grace filled, God demonstrated is the better way even with my next season approaching in the teen years